The Last Laugh Club by Steve Jones

Author:Steve Jones [Jones, Steve]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Books Ltd
Published: 2025-09-04T00:00:00+00:00

27

‘I popped one of my nausea pills earlier and it was broken in half,’ said Gog, full of concern.

Ray and Luke stared back at the Welshman in confusion.

‘That’s a great story, Big Man,’ said Luke. ‘It had it all. And I never saw that ending coming. What a twist.’

‘Behave, Luke. I mean, will it still work?’

‘Will what work?’

‘The pill?’

‘Let me get this straight.’ Luke scratched his brow. ‘You’re asking, will a nausea pill still work if it’s broken in half?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Yes, Gog. It will still work.’

‘But it’s broken? When something is broken it doesn’t work any more,’ replied Gog, looking a bit pleased with himself.

‘Yeah, but a pill’s not an iPhone, is it? You break one of them in half it’s not going to work,’ said Luke, with a grin for Ray who was checking his watch.

‘She’s late,’ he said, nodding at Rose’s empty chair. ‘That’s unusual.’

Luke glanced at his watch. ‘The two-fifteen from Hell must be running late,’ he chuckled.

Ray and Gog did not share his humour.

Luke’s smile faded a little. ‘Hmm. Yeah, she’s never late.’

They called for Donna and after voicing their concerns the nurse rushed off. Ten minutes later she returned looking flushed.

‘Any news?’ asked Luke.

‘We’ve called her home. No answer. We’re sending someone.’

‘Shit,’ Luke replied.

‘Bloody hell,’ said Ray, shaking his head at the empty chair. Donna met his eyes and he could see that this was something she had experienced many times before.

‘She’s dead,’ said Gog.

‘Gog?!’ said Luke, throwing his arms up.

‘Everybody calm down,’ Ray advised. ‘She could be running late.’

The silence that followed spoke volumes.

In Ray’s mind’s eye he saw a little Jack Russell curled up in Rose’s lap, unable to feel the comforting warmth of her touch. He placed his hand over his eyes as he felt the cool flow of the drugs that were fighting to lengthen his life enter his bloodstream. With them came a sense of guilt. He had been so happy to hear the drugs were working, but maybe they hadn’t worked for poor Rose?

‘Christ alive … who died?’

Ray lowered his hand. Rose stood in the doorway. They all looked at her flabbergasted as she removed her coat and adjusted her purple bandana.

‘Where have you been?’ Luke demanded, startling her as she sat.

‘None of your business, pretty boy,’ Rose snapped. She looked from one face to the next. ‘What’s wrong with you lot?’ Only Donna now sported a big grin as she went to work rolling up Rose’s sleeve. ‘What’s wrong with them?’

‘I think they missed you,’ said Donna.

She looked to them again and they were all now smiling back at her.

‘I have to go and speak to my colleague,’ said Donna, patting Rose’s hand. ‘Play nice and stay hydrated.’

Once Donna had left, Ray said, ‘We were worried about you, Rose.’

‘Well, don’t be. My idiot cabbie went the wrong way.’

‘As long as you’re here safe and sound,’ Gog added, with shiny eyes.

‘Oh!’ Her face suddenly lit up. ‘Now I get it. You all thought I was dead. That’s it, isn’t it? You thought I’d succumbed?’

‘For a second.

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